Agony On The Big Screen
December 17, 2007 Posted by Al Castle
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Categories: Castle, TimeWaster, gnash-teeth
I just finished watching the third and most painful installment of Pirates of the Caribbean. It was beyond horrible, too awful to convey and something I hope none of you have to endure. I would have rather watched The English Patient, in Portuguese, with German subtitles and in reverse.
I actually liked the first movie, the second had a few funny moments, but still a convoluted plot. This one must have been cursed with ancient trailer-park magick, distorting time itself into a single, long, strung-out moment of intense stupidity.
If I thought it would help, I’d rinse my eyes with bleach and lemon pledge. If only I could cauterize the wound in my brain. I fear to sleep now, for the dreams that may come unbidden and further mutilate my mind with scenes from that aquatic snuff film. For those of faith, pray for me that this vile will be expunged from my soul.
Comments»
I may need medical attention for the following comment: I agree with Al. There, I’ve said it.
Ugh. I just finished watching the Bourne Ultimatum, also the 3rd in the series and aside from the lack of a squid people it was almost as bad as Pirates.
i just watched the second one and thought it was pretty entertaining. that may have had something to do with the gallons of cold medicine i’ve consumed in the last 48 hours, but i giggled nonetheless.
When don’t you giggle?