Motivational Weight Loss Poster
June 13, 2008 Posted by Al Castle
3comments Categories: Fitness, Picture of the Day, Squirrels
Tags: dr phil, fat, weight loss
It’s Making Me Tingle
June 12, 2008 Posted by Al Castle
add a comment Categories: Castle, Picture of the Day, Squirrels
Tags: comics, common sense, happiness here i come
My long time friend Michael Dodd sent me a link to this awhile back and I just found it again.
I used to have a lot of common sense, too much actually. I see people all around me that have almost none who are way happier. Thus I’ve concluded I can dump at least half of my common sense and still be a super hero while increasing my happiness 50% at least. Genius!
Here’s to that tingling feeling.
The Real Homer Simpson
June 8, 2008 Posted by Al Castle
add a comment Categories: Picture of the Day, Squirrels
Tags: freaky, homer, simpsons
This is pretty freaky.
Not So Much The Bad Ass
June 5, 2008 Posted by Al Castle
2comments Categories: Castle, Squirrels
Tags: badass, fighting, raccoon
So yeah. Twenty-nine five year olds I can take, but anything bigger than a raccoon is gonna kick my ass. I’m pretty sure I can take a large dog, but I’m pretty surprised that I have any chance with a shark. Considering I can barely keep my mega-bulk from sinking.
Numerous Tests Results
June 4, 2008 Posted by Al Castle
3comments Categories: Castle, Squirrels, TimeWaster
Tags: badass, cannibals, fighting, geek, kids
According to this test, I could take up to 29 five year olds in a fight. Provided I fight dirty, use them as a weapon, gouge out their little eyes, etc.
In this test we discover I’m only 75% geek. The other 25% is sex machine.
75% Geek
Most of my friends can feel somewhat safe. As there’s less than a 50% chance I’d eat you if I was starving.
44%
Comparitive Power Analysis: God vs Superman
June 3, 2008 Posted by Al Castle
add a comment Categories: Squirrels
Tags: god, hulk, powers, superman
To continue on with my Hulk versus Superman proofs, we’ll see below that Superman is such a pansy, the writers have continually tried to increase his powers to the point that he should be omnipotent in a few short decades. Even so, it is clear his weaknesses are the same and the Hulk can beat him senseless. I present the following which is only part of the information presented on the original website and is stolen verbatim from David Schultz
Superman has over time gained powers including (but not limited to):
- Effortless Flight
- Strength to stop planets
- Vision powers: telescopic, microscopic, x-ray, infra-red
- “Heat-vision” and fireball blasts from eyes
- Freezing breath
- Photographic memory
- Time travel
- Phasing through solid matter
- Absorbing energy from electrical sources
- Absorbing energy from the sun
A graphical analysis follows, with an explanation underneath
The chart above represents development of power levels of both God and Superman beginning in 1940, and extrapolated to predict trends up to 2030. Several features are worthy of note. First, note that God has had no substantial increase in Power Level during the time period analyzed. Supermans powers, on the other hand, have been increasing steadily. The largest gain in Power Level can be seen in 1980, which followed Supermans discovery of his ability to travel back in time, violating physics as we know it, and presumably requiring an infinite amount of energy. A reader also points out that in ‘93 Superman died and was resurrected, which Presumably indicates a large jump in power as well.
Using conservative estimates for the development of Supermans powers, we can see that they will exceed those of God by the year 2030 (if present trends are a reliable indicator.) By 2040, Superman will not only be omniscient and omnipresent, but will most likely be capable of altering the logical fabric of all existence.
- LEGAL DISCLAIMER:
The characters described in above chart are entirely fictional and are the intellectual property of DC comics and the church.
Need More Sunlight
June 2, 2008 Posted by Al Castle
3comments Categories: Castle, Squirrels
Tags: fat, gym, tanning
Back story: A few months ago I headed to my drive-thru medical practitioner to talk about my lethargy and mood. At the time the weather was dreary, but even when it’s not I tend to spend my time on the computer, in the basement, with the shades down. My sun light in-take is near mole people levels. So she had me goto the lab, where the technicians take turns trying to find a vein. (This usually takes 3-5 stabbings as my veins are oh so wily. One tech actually said that the vein “moved out of the way” just as she was about to stab it. Uh huh.) They ended up taking several tubes of my precious juice and on my next visit I was informed that I’m so vitamin D deficient I had to take prescription vitamin D. I didn’t know you could even get prescriptions for vitamins. One bloated, Nyquil looking pill a week, would give me some 50,000 units of vitamin D. In addition it was recommended I start using a tanning bed.
And that brings us to todays post. I have a gym membership that I’ve used only a couple times, but one of the benefits they have there are tanning facilities. So I headed on down for my first tanning session today, where they showed me how the thing works. All the beds were in use so I had to use the stand up unit, something that looked like a coffin/transporter/microwave all in one. I had to figure out how the stupid welding goggle things worked, then willfully stand buck naked in - The Device. There was a fear of pubes bursting into flames or burns on tender anatomy, but I figured I’d give it a go - besides running screaming naked through the gym with smoldering pubes sounded ridiculously fun.
They only let me nuke for about 4 minutes since it was my first time and afterwards I marveled at my growing bulk in the full length mirror. I don’t feel any more vitamin D-y, and I certainly don’t look any more tan.
As I headed out (clothed), past the mostly empty machines and pool I realized that I could have also worked out. I had only worn flipflops though, so lucky me I had an excellent excuse. Methinks that next time I’ll try to convince myself to do both while I’m there.
Unthreaded Gets An Updated Blog Platform
June 1, 2008 Posted by Al Castle
add a comment Categories: Squirrels
Tags: blogging, php
Hopefully none of you should actually notice, but today I switched over to a new blogging platform. Previously I had been using an outdated and heavily hacked multi-user version of Wordpress. Now I’ve switched to something more modern and designed for a single user.
Most of my customizations from the older blog have been integrated into this code base. Aside from some plugins I still have yet to install, everything else should look and feel as it did before.
Smells Like Cabbage
May 29, 2008 Posted by Al Castle
add a comment Categories: Castle, Friends, Picture of the Day, Squirrels
Tags: cabbage, the warehouse
I’m too lazy to actually blog anything worthwhile. So more comics is all you get.
Childrens Books I Would Write
May 28, 2008 Posted by Al Castle
1 comment so far Categories: Castle, Friends, Picture of the Day, Squirrels
Tags: bear, books
